como uma onda no mar...

Have you ever felt lost, out of synch with yourself or with the world around you?
Have you ever felt lonely?
Have you ever felt that your strength has abandoned you?
Have you ever felt no hope?
Have you ever felt trapped?
Have you ever felt really, really tired?
Have you ever felt you have nothing else to give?
Have you ever felt all the words were already said?
Have you ever felt your ideals had turned to dust?
Have you ever felt that the knowledge you gathered was useless?
Have you ever felt betrayed?
Have you ever felt jealous?
Have you ever felt that someone you cared about left you behind?
Have you ever felt that your love was so precious, so beautiful but now all there is left is sorrow and regret?
Have you ever felt time has passed and you are inevitably old?
Have you ever felt all has been in vain, all has been for nothing?
Have you ever felt that you have failed yourself?
Failed yourself in a deep, fundamental way?

For all those who, like me, at some point in their lives, have felt anything like this, I light a candle.

waiting-for-the-fields  Originally uploaded by lyrical.

"A colheita é comum, mas o capinar é sozinho."
-João Guimarães Rosa

"The harvest is collective, but farming is a lonely job."
-João Guimarães Rosa

There is some kind of very special cumplicity in love that overlasts the relationship (at least, a true, good relationship). It is all gone, and you are still loyal. You don't betray secrets. You don't tell lies. When love is gone, there is still some dignity, and that matters.

I remember one occasion when I felt that we had a very special relationship indeed. It was all over. There was no nest anymore. But your parents were coming for a visit. Of course that weekend should be nice; the house should look nice. No arguments. We went shopping for food and extra glasses. We did some cleaning. And you planned nice things for us all to do. Guess all it well, apart from the rain - but I cooked dinner and it gave you the chance to talk to your parents (we had planned a picnic). And you were happy and said THANK-YOU. We were friends then, good friends and that was OK then, at that moment.

Há um tipo especial de cumplicidade no amor que sobrevive ao relacionamento (pelo menos, a um relacionamento bom, verdadeiro). Quando não há mais nada, ainda há a lealdade. Não se traem segredos. Não se contam mentiras. Quando não há mais amor, há ainda dignidade, and isto importa.

Eu me recordo de uma ocasião em que senti que realmente tínhamos tido um relacionamento especial. Não havia mais nada. Não havia mais ninho. Mas seus pais vinham de visita. Claro que aquele fim-de-semana tinha que ser especial; a casa deveria estar linda. Sem brigas. Fomos fazer as compras de supermercado e compramos mais copos. Limpamos a casa. E você planejou coisas legais para fazermos todos juntos. Acho que tudo deu certo, exceto a chuva - mas acabei fazendo o jantar, o que lhe deu a chance de conversar com seus pais (tínhamos planejado um piquenique). E você estava feliz e me disse OBRIGADO. Éramos amigos então, bons amigos e estava tudo BEM então, naquele momento.

"Amor é futuro à vista" (="Love is future in sight"), as our great writer Guimarães Rosa so well put. Tell me why the moment you start feeling really close to someone, you feel like making a nest with the person? At least it's like that with me. Perhaps you should ask more questions, wait a while, and see what happens.

But no: I start making plans, buying things for the house - even small stupid things - like coasters, beautiful napkins or nice glasses. It's so much more fun to go shopping for the house when you have a plan in mind, when you are building your little nest, because at the end of a long day it´s wonderful to go back to a warm home, someone waiting for you, ready to say "hello, how was your day?". Yes, all these stupid common place things wander through my mind sometimes. Come and go. I have been there. Had these dreams with someone. Tried to build the nest. And make the plans. And I still remember when I was tidying up our books and you got really upset because I had too many - where would all your books go to? Would they get mixed up with mine? I had to do it all over again. Painfully I placed my dear books on the floor in the bedroom. Painfully I started to see there was something wrong, and no matter how nice and cousy the nest could feel, something would always be wrong. "Love is future in sight", sometimes all love is is an image of a future that will never happen.

Carnaval Olinda Originally uploaded by klabrazil.
The crowded streets of old Olinda during Carnival...

Galo da madrugada  Originally uploaded by patricialeal.
" This huge chicken, placed in the middle of the city during Carnival is the symbol of  'Galo da madrugada', the largest Carnival group in the world (by the Guinnes Book of Records). Every year on a Saturday, when Carnival officially starts with 'Galo da madrugada', around 1.5 million people get together under our 35° C degrees summer's temperature to celebrate Carnival in Recife's crowded streets." Text by patricialeal.

4  Originally uploaded by patricialeal.

XXth Century - Carnival in Recife was characterised by various associations and clubs, the most important of which was the International Club - the club of the well-off. The Carnival of the beginning of the XXth century took place on the city centre streets, and the available public transport (urban trains and tramps pulled by horses) arrived from the suburbs overcrowded with people who wanted to join the celebrations. Things like bedsheets were used as improvised masks. Clubs such as "Cavalheiros de Satanás" (Satan's Gentlemen), "Caras Duras", "Filhos da Candinha", and "U.P.M." took part in the Carnival from 1904 until 1912.

The traditional Corso crossed the main streets, and was composed by various cars pulled by horses. The great fun of the Corso was to throw confetti and serpentine, water with lime, as well as perfumed water. In addition, there were decorated trucks (also pulled by horses) and charriots, from where people would sing and play Carnival marching songs.

This was based in Fundação Joaquim Nabuco - Carnaval de Pernambuco.
  Check the website for information in Portuguese.